It’s a beautiful Sunday morning. The first day of March arriving after a short delay for Leap Day. I hope you were able to use your extra February day to rest, recharge and create. I’ve been thinking about my father a lot recently. Occasionally having a moment where I feel like I owe him a phone call, then in a split second remembering he’s gone. I do take that as a sign that I owe him a conversation. My dad was a consistent force in the world. Operating like a clock and always there for the people in his life. He created a wonderful blueprint for what the practical side of adulting could look like.
He also spent a good deal of time in worry, much of his time spent with the practical. And I think either in aging, the Parkinson’s, or both, he seemed to spend more and more of his time in worry. He gave a good deal of himself thinking about everyone else being ok. Towards the end in hospice, I believe he was hanging on for additional assurances that those he was leaving behind would be ok. I know my father expected and wanted the best for me. I also know he wouldn’t want me spending time in worry that could be spent in joy. I realize for my physical and emotional health, I cannot simmer in worry.
As I was getting older, I too was on a similar path. With each year, I was literally and figuratively getting heavier. Eating, and occasionally drinking, more. And worrying more. I’ve been blessed to release the physical weight. But I understand I still carry too much emotional weight, too much worry. And I am on a mission to release myself from worry, and hopefully encourage others to do the same. It is a normal function to carry concern for those we love. But it’s how we manage the worry, and not allow it to overtake us that is key.
For me, it begins with working on a release of control. I don’t own and am not the architect of outcomes for the people in my life. I cannot make choices and decisions for my children. I cannot map out their future. It is one thing to pray and daydream the best for each other. It’s another to feel like you need to exert control, to will it into being, essentially ensuring everything is ok.
I tie this into a release of expectations. Each of us brings our best to each situation, each encounter in our lives. But we cannot control the outcome. When things don’t work out the way we hoped, we are being sent on a different path of learning and exploring. Which itself is a blessing of new growth and discovery. Spend some time exploring the acceptance of outcomes. What we are experiencing in a given moment is exactly what is meant to be.
Releasing judgement tied into those expectations. I may expect my children to go to college. If they choose not to, inherently I may sit in judgement of them and their decisions. Feeling I know what is best and looking to control the outcome. Allow those you love to do the best they can in each moment. And if a choice they are making is different than one you might have made, good for them. Bless them in their strength to choose their own paths.
Deepen your faith and trust in your specific belief system. I know that all that there is and the Universe are on my side. As I continue on my path of growing this belief, I know I will worry less. By nature, I will trust the directions on the path. I will be more present with the experiences I am having in this very moment. And I know it is the exact direction and experience I should be having.
It’s ok to have worry. It’s normal to feel concern. Acknowledge your worries and let them go. These concerns and worries can grow and manifest into fear. Allow these feelings in, take a good look at them, and then let it go. Find the counterbalance in gratitude for what you are feeling in that moment. Gratitude and joy in even the most challenging moments are a key to true happiness.
And today, March 1st 2020, I hope you find a nugget. A piece of encouragement to join me on this journey to shed the weight of worry, and find our paths to joy. Sending love, light and laughter ❤️🙏